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Showing posts from February, 2020

Focus or rather communication

(A note for anyone who wonders about my approach to writing: Focus on what is bothering you the most, what occupies most of your thoughts, what you most want to say and then start writing. Write that particular problem out, let it go and create some distance so that you may reflect. I do this with just about anything.) A lot sometimes becomes too much all of the sudden. Even not enough can become too much that is on your mind because your head will always look for an excuse to stay comfortable. Mine does at least. The over-arching theme of what has been happening to me lately, in a way, all relates to communication. There was an incident where a young friend of mine, 19, asked me for some advise on women. What a wonderful conversation it was! Almost like a conversation with a younger self of mine and who wouldn't like that? I really like him a lot, I always have and so to see him approach me with something in the manner I would have preferred, which is in private and as a coun

Conflicted

About two weeks ago I had a doctor's appointment, which from my experience I was expecting to be a lengthier affair. I hadn't seen him in a while and we would always have a lovely chat, yet this last time our business was rather brief and I was surprised to find myself in the middle of an anecdote of mine when there was obviously no reason for me to take up anymore of his time than necessary. The moment became really awkward actually when I quickly wrapped up my tale only to find that his reaction was not how I thought it was going to be and after saying our goodbyes I went home feeling a certain way about myself. It took some time of reflection to understand that I was desperate to have a conversation with someone. That I was lonely during that time and didn't really know where to go with myself, but that would only be half of the truth. It wasn't that I was lacking direction, but that I was missing motivation - that I was scared. There are few things that I like