(A note for anyone who wonders about my approach to writing: Focus on what is bothering you the most, what occupies most of your thoughts, what you most want to say and then start writing. Write that particular problem out, let it go and create some distance so that you may reflect. I do this with just about anything.)
A lot sometimes becomes too much all of the sudden. Even not enough can become too much that is on your mind because your head will always look for an excuse to stay comfortable. Mine does at least.
The over-arching theme of what has been happening to me lately, in a way, all relates to communication.
There was an incident where a young friend of mine, 19, asked me for some advise on women. What a wonderful conversation it was! Almost like a conversation with a younger self of mine and who wouldn't like that? I really like him a lot, I always have and so to see him approach me with something in the manner I would have preferred, which is in private and as a councelling figure was maybe something I yearned for. To give my lived experience more value for someone else and to better our relationship further still.
While I was able to deconstruct his language a little and point out to him what I believed to be some of the problems origins might be, I could fall back on little anecdotes from my early experiences at University for example. Communication was at the core of this in multiple ways. Between me and him, between him and the girl.
In a similar way it affected me and my brother. A note given as a text understood the wrong way met too high expectations, which in turn results in an emotionally charged message that requires a lot of patience, of emotional support and peace of mind to withstand. Psychology, philosophy and at a later point esotericism come together in a set of events that point out an incline of reflection on my brothers part and his associates.
I can hardly stress how much mental perseverance it sometimes take to deal with simple issues the right way. Swallow your pride, forget about emotion, reach out and call him. Speak in a calm manner and point out exactly where you believe the flaw was and don't react emotionally.
Eventually, it became clear that at least one of the root causes for this was poor communication, which I blamed neither of us for particularly, but was accepting of my own responsibility in the matter.
At the end of all this there was a conversation with a friend of mine, 32, who put all of this in perspective for me. It is precisely because of the incline in reflection that I have to deal with this by myself. Simply put, all I can do is to nudge the people towards a direction of self-awareness and reflection. Ever so gently that is. With time, which requires a lot of patience and endurance, there might be improvement and thus change of perspective. A slight alignment, possibly. But until that is the case and that is really all I dare hope for, it is me who has to do the heavy lifting. He told me:
"As long as you can endure it, socialize. If it becomes too much of a struggle, remove yourself."
A lot sometimes becomes too much all of the sudden. Even not enough can become too much that is on your mind because your head will always look for an excuse to stay comfortable. Mine does at least.
The over-arching theme of what has been happening to me lately, in a way, all relates to communication.
There was an incident where a young friend of mine, 19, asked me for some advise on women. What a wonderful conversation it was! Almost like a conversation with a younger self of mine and who wouldn't like that? I really like him a lot, I always have and so to see him approach me with something in the manner I would have preferred, which is in private and as a councelling figure was maybe something I yearned for. To give my lived experience more value for someone else and to better our relationship further still.
While I was able to deconstruct his language a little and point out to him what I believed to be some of the problems origins might be, I could fall back on little anecdotes from my early experiences at University for example. Communication was at the core of this in multiple ways. Between me and him, between him and the girl.
In a similar way it affected me and my brother. A note given as a text understood the wrong way met too high expectations, which in turn results in an emotionally charged message that requires a lot of patience, of emotional support and peace of mind to withstand. Psychology, philosophy and at a later point esotericism come together in a set of events that point out an incline of reflection on my brothers part and his associates.
I can hardly stress how much mental perseverance it sometimes take to deal with simple issues the right way. Swallow your pride, forget about emotion, reach out and call him. Speak in a calm manner and point out exactly where you believe the flaw was and don't react emotionally.
Eventually, it became clear that at least one of the root causes for this was poor communication, which I blamed neither of us for particularly, but was accepting of my own responsibility in the matter.
At the end of all this there was a conversation with a friend of mine, 32, who put all of this in perspective for me. It is precisely because of the incline in reflection that I have to deal with this by myself. Simply put, all I can do is to nudge the people towards a direction of self-awareness and reflection. Ever so gently that is. With time, which requires a lot of patience and endurance, there might be improvement and thus change of perspective. A slight alignment, possibly. But until that is the case and that is really all I dare hope for, it is me who has to do the heavy lifting. He told me:
"As long as you can endure it, socialize. If it becomes too much of a struggle, remove yourself."
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