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Inside

I can look at people's accounts online that might connect us.
I can swipe away until I find you.
I can catch glances and smile and yet keep wondering.
I can sacrifice hours of my day contemplating what it might mean.
Yet I don't want to look inside of me to see what it is that wants to be nurtured.
-
Tragically we keep looking everywhere that is outside ourselves to find something that makes us whole, that will keep us going and that is great for the moment, but rarely do we find the strength to go and turn the other way and consider.
Consider that the outside isn't going to help with this. That no interaction could ever be sweet enough, that no message or like would fix us like we want it to.
The flaw is in the direction.
If all the attention was spend looking inside then it would all be different.
The interactions would mean more.
The messages would be genuine.
The time spent would be more useful.

After years of introspection I am still dumbfounded sometimes about how desperate I can be and how naive my actions are. I wonder if all the enchantment is really out there in the world or if it is inside myself all along?

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